Megan McQuillan Kellogg
Megan McQuillan Kellogg
SESSION #5: Dead Man Walking
FEATURING: Megan McQuillan Kellogg, San Francisco Girls Chorus member (1993-2004); SF Opera chorus extra, 2009
Interview conducted by: Dr. Clifford (Kip) Cranna, Dramaturg Emeritus, on 07/11/2025
(transcript read time ~ 12 minutes)
MEGAN KELLOGG [MK]: My name is Megan Kellog, and I was in the children’s chorus in the original production of Dead Man Walking.
KIP CRANNA [KC]: And I’m Kip Cranna. I’m called Dramaturg Emeritus now at San Francisco Opera. Glad to talk with you, Megan.
MK: I’m so glad to be here. Thanks for having me.
KC: Before we start with your memories about Dead Man Walking, why don’t you say a little bit about how you came to be involved in the production in the first place. You were a member of the San Francisco Girls Chorus? Is that right?
MK: Yes, I was in the San Francisco Girls Chorus. I was in level three or four, so more advanced in the chorus school. And it almost didn’t happen that I was in (laughs) Dead Man Walking, actually, because I really didn’t want to do it, initially.
KC: Why not?
MK: Well, because I had also been in Parsifal, (laughs) which, for the –
KC: Oh, this was not your debut.
MK: No, this was not my debut, and being in the children’s chorus in Parsifal is quite an experience. We only sang at the very beginning and at the very end, and we –
KC: Five hours later.
MK: Yes, five hours later. And (laughter) we were stuck with a bunch of boys in the boys chorus, offstage way up in the balconies, behind the audience. So we never saw the stage, and I just thought, yeah, the music’s pretty, but I don’t really want to do anything like that again. (laughs) So I had to be convinced to be in Dead Man Walking initially.
KC: There was another Megan involved in this enterprise: Magen Sullivan, I believe, was the [interim artistic] director of the Girls Chorus at the time, is that correct?
MK: Magen was... My director was Magen Solomon. Magen was the director before I was in level four. I was in the younger groups when she was there, yeah.
KC: We’ll have to look at the archives. Magen is the one listed in the program.
MK: Oh, she’s listed there. (laughter) It’s possible that she was the director of the performing groups, Chorissima and Virtuosi, but they were probably too tall and (laughs) too old to be in the operas at the time. They usually used short kids, you know, who could actually look like little kids next to the principal singers. So it was Beth Avakian, who was my director of the chorus school, who convinced me to participate in Dead Man Walking.
KC: Do you remember anything about the music rehearsals, what the music was like for you?
MK: I was listening to it on the way over, and it feels like just as fresh as when I was learning it, and it still gives me chills, the music. I don’t remember being particularly -- like, having feelings about the music, until I got onstage, and I was a part of the whole experience, because I couldn’t really put it into the context of the whole opera, just rehearsing for it.
KC: So this was combined forces of the San Francisco Boys Chorus, which is a separate organization with different leadership, and the Girls Chorus. What was it like? Do you remember combining these two groups, when the boys showed up?
MK: (laughs) It was a very small group. You know, it was a small group of kids compared to Parsifal, which was a lot of kids. And I think, also, it wasn’t a given that I was going to get to be in the production, because I was so tall, and I do specifically remember Jake saying that I could be in it, probably because Susan Graham was so tall, and so I could stand next to her (laughs) and still look like a kid. But I remember it feeling like a very intimate experience, performing with such a small group of kids, because we were much more exposed. We could hear our own voices onstage and offstage, which felt very different than being in Parsifal.
KC: I remember the scene very well myself, and since you kids were onstage, ready to start the second scene of the opera, you never got to see the horrible crime that is depicted just before that, but do you remember sort of what was the vibe like for the kids in the show, as the curtain went up on that scene? Were you afraid? Excited? Terrified?
MK: It was exciting. It was really exciting. Running onstage, you couldn’t see the audience because the lights were so bright, but you could feel the vastness of the Opera House. So it was incredibly exciting. And then, being onstage with Susan Graham and Theresa Hamm-Smith, you know, and all the adult chorus members –
KC: Theresa was the Sister Rose, who –
MK: Sister Rose, that’s correct.
KC: -- is her friend, yeah.
MK: Yes. It was just incredibly inspiring to me, to see these singers in action, and I think it introduced me to the possibilities of the human voice, which I just hadn’t been aware of, which was, I think, the most transformative part of the whole experience for me.
KC: So this hymn that you sing -- it seems like a spiritual that’s been around forever but it’s actually something that Jake created -- develops into quite a showstopping number in this scene. (laughs) How was that for you? What did you feel like...? What did you feel was happening for you?
MK: I loved it. It just felt... It felt really authentic, and it felt like it just came from my own heart, singing, “He will gather us around” with Sister Helen and Sister Rose.
KC: Did you get to meet Sister Helen in the course of all this? The real Sister Helen?
MK: The real Sister Helen? I did get to meet her. I vaguely remember meeting her. It wasn’t like a one-on-one introduction, but I did a lot of research after getting this opportunity to... Being confirmed that I was going to be able to do the opera, I watched the film, and I read about Sister Helen, so I was certainly pretty awestruck to be able to see her, and see her around the Opera House as it got later into the rehearsal period.
KC: Were you aware of the significance of a world premiere at the time, or was it just more music to learn?
MK: I was not aware of the significance of it at all. I mean, for me, before Dead Man Walking, opera was not something relatable, or something that I was really interested in, and so Dead Man Walking really changed the trajectory of my life. You know, I can say that definitively, (laughs) looking back. And now, 25 years later, I can see the significance of it being a world premiere, but certainly at the time I was just sort of there and along for the ride.
KC: When the curtain went up on the opening night, did you have a feeling about what kind of show it was going to be, or were you –
MK: I actually was not there opening night. That was October 7th, I believe, and I was at my cousin’s wedding, and we had to get permission from Jake for me to miss that first performance. And by then I was sucked in, and I just... I was in tears thinking about not being able to do it, but he said I could still be in the (laughs) performances, even if I was going to miss that first one.
KC: So you got to know Jake, in the course of all this.
MK: I did, more so after, in the years after, but yes, I mean, I have these strong memories of him selecting me to be in the production, and then allowing me to take this break to go to my cousin’s wedding, so...
KC: Have you sung any other of Jake’s music in the time since then?
MK: Yes. While I was at the Conservatory I sang some of his songs, and then I was able to do Dead Man Walking again as an adult chorister at Washington National Opera, seven, eight years ago.
KC: So you had more than one experience with this piece. That would’ve been –
MK: Yes.
KC: -- a different production from the one that we did here, right?
MK: It was different. Susan Graham was in the role of the mother, and Kate Lindsey was our Sister Helen. And Catherine Martin covered Sister Helen. She was fantastic. But it was so interesting to see Susan in a different role.
KC: So this experience in Dead Man Walking, would you say it had a formative effect on you? Did it play a role in your going on to study music?
MK: Oh, absolutely. As I mentioned, it really changed the trajectory of my life. I was a freshman in high school, and if I hadn’t done Dead Man Walking I honestly don’t know where I would be, because it ignited a passion for opera that had not been there. Like I said, I didn’t know anything about opera, except Parsifal, and I wasn’t really interested in that, (laughs) if that’s what it was. It showed me that opera is relevant. The singers showed me this incredible potential of the human voice. I made a very strong connection with Flicka [Fredericka Von Stade], who’s been my mentor since Dead Man Walking. And I met my husband because I decided to become an opera singer. (laughs) And so that’s why I feel like it was an incredibly life-altering experience, for me to be in Dead Man Walking. And I think having the passion ignited during really difficult high school years for me kept me afloat, and kept me focused, because I knew that’s what I wanted. And I think that’s unique for young people to know what they want to do, and I think it kept me on track in really difficult times.
KC: Did you have support from your family as you were pursuing music?
MK: I did. I think my mom... It was just me and my mom growing up, and I think my mom was really relieved that I found something that I loved, just because I was really depressed during high school, and so she definitely supported me, and always believed in me, and always encouraged me, even though neither of us knew how difficult it is to be a singer, (laughs) and what it actually takes, but my mom was really supportive of me the whole time.
KC: Where did you meet your husband?
MK: I met my husband when I was in Porgy & Bess in 2009. He was not in Porgy & Bess, (laughs)
KC: Here in San Francisco?
MK: Yes, here in San Francisco. He was an Adler Fellow at the time. (laughs)
KC: That’s our resident arts program.
MK: Yes, and, let’s see... I think... So Ian Robertson [chorus director] had offered me additional work in Verdi’s Requiem.
KC: In the extra chorus?
MK: Yeah, in the extra chorus. I just auditioned for Porgy & Bess, because at the time I really wanted to do Porgy & Bess, but I still thought I wanted to be a soloist and so I was like, I’m not going to audition for the chorus; I’m just going to audition for that. But Ian gave me work in the Verdi Requiem, and I remember Ken just coming to sit in in my rehearsals and sort of stare at me. (laughter) And same with Porgy & Bess. And he would say that he was coming to support his friends, because he had a lot of friends in the cast, but that’s how I met Ken. (laughs)
KC: That was probably true, too, but...
MK: Yes, yeah, maybe a little bit.
KC: All right, so opera brings people together.
MK: Opera brings people together, that’s true.
KC: And you’re still singing now.
MK: I’m still singing now. I was able to do Beethoven’s Ninth here last October, I believe, and I have to admit, I was definitely feeling some regret when I learned that you all were doing Dead Man Walking again, because I did not audition again for extra chorus, because I also started a full-time job for the first time last year, and I just... It was a lot. It was really busy. But I feel really grateful to be able to talk to you today to somehow feel like I’m a part of the experience. But, yes, I’m looking forward to working here more now that we’re back in the area.
KC: So that initial cast that you were part of has really made a mark on the operatic world, becoming one of the most, if not the most, performed American opera, certainly of this century. Have you followed the show? Have you seen it in any other places?
MK: I have not seen it in any other places, just the production I was in in Washington, D.C. And it was nice to be reunited with Susan and Jake, and Flicka did come, which was really nice. It was great to see her there.
KC: And what are your plans for seeing it this fall? Is it going to be a major event for you?
MK: Yes, I will absolutely be there. (laughs) Jake invited me to opening night, and so I’m hoping that I’ll be able to go and experience it again with this new cast.
KC: I think that Jake told me he arranged that opening hymn, the “He will gather us around” -- (clears throat) excuse me -- he arranged it as a piece for a school choir to sing, so I imagine it’s being done as we speak in some places around the world.
MK: Yes, yes. Oh, that’s wonderful to know. I didn’t know that.
KC: What are your thoughts about the revival? Does it seem like it’s possible that 25 years have passed (laughs) since.
MK: No, it doesn’t. I just... I can’t believe it’s been that long. So much has happened, but, at the same time, it feels like yesterday, but it also feels like 25 years have passed, especially thinking about Flicka just turning 80, and where she was 25 years ago, and everything I’ve been through since then, and growing in these relationships with the people from the production has been really special.
KC: Did you have a sense when you were in the show that it was kind of like a slice of real life? Did it seem different to you from...? Well, certainly from Parsifal, (laughs) which is a very different kettle of fish.
MK: Yes, absolutely, and I think that’s why it really drew me in, because it was so relatable, and I feel like at the time there were a lot of discussion about the death penalty happening, just in the media, and so it felt extremely relevant. Being in English, of course just being able to sit and listen to an opera and know what’s going on. I feel like Jake really opened a door for wider audiences when he wrote this opera, because it just... I think it’s been transformative, and everything that’s come since then has these big shoes to fill, you know, I think.
KC: Do you have any recollections of the director, Joe Montello? He was doing his first opera, after a career on Broadway.
MK: A little bit. I remember what he looked like. (laughs) I feel like I was maybe even taller than him. I was, like, really tall onstage. (laughs) But I do remember he had this incredible energy, and it was like that New York energy. It was like, let’s just get it done and this excitement. So I remember that. I remember that.
KC: Any other memories you want to add before we conclude?
MK: I think just reiterating what it was like to be onstage with Susan Graham and not knowing what an important figure she is in opera, or she was at the time, but being so incredibly touched by her voice. It was just so moving, you know. And being so incredibly touched by the music itself. It’s just beautiful, beautiful music, that is easy to listen to, but really, really touches people. And I did actually get to watch the first scene -- or not the first scene, sorry; I got to watch the end of the opera, because we were all sent home (laughs) since we weren’t really supposed to see the rest of it. But I remember sitting in the audience, and watching the end of the opera, and just crying when, I believe it was Packard – when John Packard was onstage getting his lethal injection and all you could hear was the machine going, I mean, I was just... I was a wreck. (laughs) At 14, I was a wreck. But I just thought, this is it. There’s nothing better than this.
KC: My partner said, when he watched that last scene, that there was more sniffling in the balcony circle than he’d heard since the end of Old Yeller.
MK: Yes. (laughs) Yes, definitely.
KC: And I imagine you will have an opportunity to meet Susan again when she’s here this fall, to be the mother this time round.
MK: Yes, yeah. And she was wonderful when she was the mother in D.C., so she’s really... It was really cool to see her sort of grow into that role, after having performed with her when she was Sister Helen.
KC: Well, I hope you’ve told her what an important influence she was on you and your development.
MK: Yes. (laughs) I’ve told anybody who will listen.
KC: Megan, thanks so much for talking to us. This is really interesting to hear. What do you remember about getting into the Girls Chorus in the first place? Was this something you really wanted to do, or you were pushed by your mother to do?
MK: I think I just loved singing. I loved singing Disney songs. I remember I auditioned with a Disney song -- I think it was Cinderella or something (laughs) -- and I was seven years old. And I was in the chorus for a total of 11 years. I was, as I mentioned, 14 when I was in Dead Man Walking, so seven years in. And the Girls Chorus is an amazing organization. I got a great education, I met wonderful friends, and I think I had this amazing opportunity to be exposed to the Opera and the Symphony throughout my time in the Chorus, which means a lot to me today, because that’s unusual, you know. I work for a wonderful organization in Richmond now, and we serve about 400 kids onsite, offering free music classes, and acting and dance classes, and I really want to bring this high level of education and exposure to the arts that we have here in the Bay Area to them, because it’s not a given, and now, more than ever, it’s not a given that kids have access. So I really appreciate my time in the chorus for exposing me to everything that that San Francisco has to offer in terms of the arts.
KC: So you’re sort of paying it forward, for the gifts you got in the Girls Chorus.
MK: Absolutely, yes. Absolutely.
KC: The Girls Chorus has a reputation, I think well deserved, for being a fairly exacting, almost professional in the way they perform.
MK: Yes.
KC: Did you find that difficult, or was it an interesting challenge for you?
MK: It was all I knew, sort of, (laughs) because I was so young when I joined. I just thought that was the way that it was, but it was a very professional -- it is a very professional -- chorus, and there were very high expectations on us to, you know, honor the music by performing it as written. Language had to be perfect, rhythms, (laughs) notes, dynamics, all of it. And then also go on stage if we were at, you know, the opera, or performing with the dance company, and be able to express it musically, you know? And so I really appreciate that. I think it helped me when I got to the Conservatory, and it helps me now, because that’s what I want to bring to our kids, you know, in Richmond, who don’t really have access to music classes at all in school anymore, so...
KC: Do you have any memories of other operas you were in during your 11 years in the Girls Chorus?
MK: It was just Parsifal and Dead Man Walking. (laughter)
KC: That was it.
MK: Those were the two, yeah. Those were the two.
KC: But lots of other concerts and performances.
MK: Yes, I do remember doing Perséphone with the Symphony, and then we did Penderecki’s Credo at the Oregon Bach Festival, which really meant a lot to me. I loved that music.
KC: Difficult music.
MK: Yes, I love difficult music, (laughter) and I remember learning... I didn’t have a piano, or even a keyboard, at the time, and I remember working on Perséphone, Stravinsky, with my tuning fork, and just trying to get those intervals. But we were equipped. We got a great education, so...
KC: Are you teaching, actually teaching music to the kids in Richmond?
MK: So I don’t teach. I supervise our music faculty. We have just a wonderful, wonderful music faculty, and doing a lot of work to sort of shape the programming, to make it... Like I said, to give the kids the best experience that they can get. It’s an amazing organization, and there’s just so many possibilities for the kids. And I think being in the Girls Chorus has definitely been an experience that’s made me want to give back, as well as my relationship with Flicka has been a relationship that (laughs) I feel like I really want to give to the kids that I work with, and that our teachers work with.
KC: And she’s been amazingly generous in working with young people for years.
MK: She has. Yes, for years. And even now, as an adult she’s been like my guardian angel for 25 years, so I just love her, and I want to give the kids what she’s given me.
KC: What would be your advice to parents who are wondering whether their kids should go into a program like yours?
MK: Where I work now?
KC: Sure.
MK: I mean, I think it’s an absolutely incredible program, and our kids... We really serve kids who couldn’t otherwise pay for these sorts of classes and lessons. Our kids are all from Title I schools, many receive free and reduced lunches, and so being able to offer them this experience of free lessons and classes year round is incredible, (laughs) and I would encourage any family to take advantage of that. I mean, also, we don’t have a lot of space. We’ve got a beautiful building (laughs) downtown, but we also have all these waiting lists for our classes, because they are free, and so that’s something we’re working on is getting a little bit more space so we can serve even more kids.
KC: All right, well, good luck to you with that.
MK: Thank you.
KC: It sounds like a wonderful project to work on.
MK: Yes, it’s wonderful.
KC: One person we haven’t talked about who was involved in the production at the beginning was Patrick Summers, the conductor, who has since then worked on almost all of the Jake Heggie operas. What are your impressions of him? Do you remember him?
MK: I remember Patrick. I think I was just in awe that he could keep it all together. (laughs) There was just so much going on, and I didn’t really... Because we were offstage for Parsifal, I didn’t really see what a conductor did. And so once I was onstage, and was able to see everybody he was cueing, it was just incredible. He’s got this huge, really lush orchestra, and then all of these singers, all of these children’s choristers, adult choristers... Yeah, I mean, I think I was just in awe of what he was able to do, and any conductor now that I’ve seen, any opera conductor, it’s definitely a lot to (laughs) hold together. But I certainly appreciate Patrick’s work, I think, to bring Jake’s music alive in the way that he did, because, like I said, it’s just such beautiful, beautiful music, and I’m so thankful that he had this opportunity to share his music, and that it’s taken him where it has, because it's so well deserved.
KC: There’s a young woman named Sara Jobin who was prompting that performance. She went on to have quite a fine career as a conductor herself.
MK: I remember Sara, yeah. (laughs)
KC: That must have been an unusual experience. Most choirs don’t have prompters.
MK: Yeah, it was definitely a first... That was my first experience with seeing a prompter, as well. She was down, sort of in that little box, and she’s pretty little, too, I mean, (laughs) so she was there just sort of whisper-shouting out cues to the singers, and...
KC: That’s a great way to describe it: whisper-shouting. (laughter)
MK: Yeah, with her baton. So, yeah, it was really cool.
KC: Thanks so much, Megan.
MK: Thank you.